A nun walks into a bar.
She smashes up all the stools, robs the till and beats the barman to within an inch of his life.
She’s sentenced to go to jail and pay a fine.
The nun tells the judge, “I choose not to contribute to my prison sentence or my fine.”
And the judge says “Grand so,” and the nun walks away.
A government minister walks into a bar.
He buys ten pints and the barman gives him the bill.
The minister refuses to pay. He says what he says whenever he sees a number that doesn’t suit him:
“I don’t know where you’re getting your figures from. That’s voodoo economics.”
A banker walks into a bar.
He gets roaring pissed and starts joking and singing. He downs pints of beer, jaegerbombs, vodka and whiskey.
The barman, passing him another five tequilas, asks him if he’s having a good time. The banker nods.
“You’ll be dying tomorrow morning though,” warns the barman.
The banker laughs until tears stream down his cheeks. He says, “I’m a banker, you idiot! Don’t you realise what that means?”
The barman doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Next morning the barman wakes up. Even though he’s had nothing to drink, he’s dying of the worst hangover of his life.